Lisa Bobyak wasn’t oblivious to the festering problems in the marriage that spanned two decades. When her husband said they needed to talk, she was prepared to seek help, to bridge the ravine, and to begin anew. She was resolved to enter marriage counseling when reality shattered illusion.
The man she thought she knew had engaged in a long-term affair.
The man she thought she knew had lived in a shroud of lies.
The man she thought she knew, with whom she’d raised two daughters, gave her a business card for a divorce attorney.
She felt defeated and demoralized, completely off balance.
Yet, despite nail-spitting fury, she was determined.
Couples counseling ceded to individual therapy.
She pivoted from making daily “to-do” lists that focused on her roles as wife and mother and began enumerating the requisite steps to chart a new course for Lisa. Not Lisa the wife or Lisa the mom. Just Lisa.
She embraced therapy, yoga, and Weight Watchers. Never a runner, she began jogging, sweating out her grief and anger. Though her first miles were intended to take her away from the muck, she felt a shift as she began running toward a future filled with new relationships and opportunities.
She survived a protracted, contentious, and humiliating divorce in which her worth was debated and determined by a stranger in a robe.
Eight years later, she is a master gardener of sorts, planting seeds, nurturing, weeding, and savoring the yield. Her compost pile was a mixture of shattered trust and an intrinsic strength that allowed her to move past questions such as, “How could I have been blind for so long? Where was my radar? Who else has duped me?”
Eight years later, her mind no longer churns with thoughts of betrayal, self-doubt, and self-worth, for in her heartache she met her new purpose. A classroom teacher by training, Lisa is now an author, speaker, and life coach with an infectious smile and a voice that resonates with compassion and empathy (www.livingfullybalanced.com).
On August 1 she will begin a new venture with a radio program she was invited to launch on AM KDIZ 1570, the nation’s first wellness station. On Tuesday afternoons (and thereafter on podcasts), listeners can tune in to http://twincitieswellnessradio.com/at 3 p.m. central time to hear Lisa coach others on how to assemble the various pieces of the wellness puzzle.
She will help others to navigate change, to choose and incorporate healthy habits into their daily lives. She will share lessons learned with others who are grappling with vexing– but empowering – questions such as, “Who or what do you need to discard to live a healthier life?”
She will put a voice to the choice that we all must face at certain junctures in life: Faced with adversity, will we choose to be bitter? Or will we choose to be better? She will illuminate how resilience sounds, and how it feels to choose better. She will throw out the seeds for other budding gardeners so they can also bloom and grow.
I can’t wait to tune in.